


October 26, 2015

by AsheTarasovich (natalieashe), Boffin1710



Series: Fool Me Once [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Boys In Love, Character Death, M/M, Relationship(s), The things we don't say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-08 06:08:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14688078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natalieashe/pseuds/AsheTarasovich, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boffin1710/pseuds/Boffin1710
Summary: On October 26th 2015, James Bond climbed into Q’s lovingly reconstructed Aston Martin with his latest conquest and hightailed it out of London.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rigel99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rigel99/gifts).



> Written from a prompt that Rigel99 was so gracious to allow us to steal. I hope we do it justice. :-)

“I thought you’d gone.”

“I have.”  Bond smiled slightly.  “There’s just one thing I need…”

The subsequent conversation replayed over and over in Q’s mind as he tried to concentrate on the plans in front of him.  

Bond gesturing towards the Aston, holding out his hand for the keys like it was his right to have them.

The plummeting of Q’s stomach when he realised that Bond did not mean him. That everything he’d done for the agent really had been seen as just a Quartermaster doing his duty.  No… worse… Bond had taken advantage of Q’s poorly disguised crush. Having got what he needed, was ready to walk away without even a thank you.

Bond prolonging the agony of a goodbye that wasn’t even uttered by asking Q to go over the restoration of the vehicle, flirtatiously acting disappointed that all MI6 specified modifications had been removed.

And finally Q’s mortified waffling as he handed over the ignition keys and watched Bond drive out of the garage and out of his life forever.

Q slammed his laptop closed and screwed his eyes shut.  His glasses landed on the desktop and he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyelids.

“I hate you.  And I hate her.  But mostly you.”


	2. Chapter 2

“No Moneypenny.  Just absolutely no!” Q continued to type, fingerings moving swiftly over the keys, focus on the code in front of him.  Moneypenny perched on the edge of his workstation in the front of Q Branch trying to persuade him to her evil dating plan for him.   
  
“It’s just drinks.  They’ll be others there.” Putting on her sweetest ‘you can’t say no to me’ look.

  
“What do you not understand about the word ‘No’.” he sighed.  “Your track record of dates you have acquired for me has been disastrous.  I have no desire to put myself through that again.”

  
“This one is different,” she started but hesitated as one of his minions brought up paperwork for him to sign off on.

  
“And how many times have I heard that line before, Eve.” Q threw right back at her when it was just the two of them within hearing range.  “No. I’m just going to be the aging gay bachelor with two cats, tech, and my books for eternity.”    
  


“That is so pathetic.  I’m calling him now.” She tapped her phone screen, glossy lips curling in a smug smile.   
  
Q sighed knowing the only way he’d get any work done was to agree to yet another disastrous date.  Maybe this time Moneypenny’s selected victim might actually be interesting. An accountant couldn’t be as off the planet as the artist or as self-absorbed as the advertising exec...   
  
“Fine.  I’ll come, but only because I don’t have to be alone with him.  And if you abandon me before I give you the cue, you will owe me for all eternity.  Now please leave me alone to finish this.”   
  
“Love you,” she aimed an air kiss at him as she hopped off his desk, phone already pressed to her ear.  “This is the one, I feel it.”   
  
Q watched her walk away, sure he was going to regret this.   
  



	3. Chapter 3

“I cannot believe you have him a fake phone number!”  Moneypenny pushes her way into his office unannounced. 

Q pointed to his headset waving a hand at her to be quiet. “Yes Sir.  Yes M! Report on your desk first thing in morn.” he sighed knowing full well that he would have to stay late to accomplish what he had just promised Mallory.  

Moneypenny tapped the toe of her high heel impatiently waiting for him to disconnect from Mallory and as soon as he did, “You are such a shite!  Andrew is a nice guy!”

“He’s boring and handsy Moneypenny!” Q protested.  “If I was on the pull, I wouldn’t need to be bored out of my mind first!  That’s not what I consider foreplay.” 

“I give up!  You are a nuisance.  I hope you and your cats are happy together.”  Moneypenny stomped out of his office scattering scared minions in her wake.  Unfortunately, he knew she would be back at him before the week was out. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Here, drink this.  It’s well-sugared for shock.”  Moneypenny handed Q a takeaway cup from the all-night coffee shop around the corner and peered around him at the small crowd gathered around the body on the floor.  “I think he peed himself.”   
  
“Serves him bloody right!”  Q said hotly, gripping the cup.  “And I’m not in shock. I’m pissed off!”   
  
The pub had almost emptied. 

Thankfully… 

Leaving Q and Moneypenny with the bar staff, a few pub regulars and the aggressive pushy bastard lying prone on the floor.  “Tanner is on the case. PC Dickhead isn’t impressed that he can’t question you.”   
  
“You’re enjoying this,” Q accused sipping the tea.  “This is revolting, by the way.”   
  
“Well none of the dates I set up with ended in you discharging a taser.”  She pulled a compact mirror from her handbag and checked her make-up. “And it’s medicinal.  Shut up and drink it. The night is still young.”

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

“I can’t believe you are already in those pyjama pants,” Moneypenny poked at him as she stole a piece of his pizza that was the culinary delight for the evening.  “It’s only 8 pm on a Friday. You are so pathetic.”

“I am not going out tonight Moneypenny.  I don’t care if you are all dressed up for a night out and feel the need to torture me once more with men who I can’t even relate to, let alone carry on a conversation with.”

“Q!”

“No!  I’m tired of having to lie through the entire evening. Oh me… I do tech support for a financial institution. No Moneypenny!” He pulled the hood up on his hoodie trying to hide inside it away from her nagging.  

“We’ll have a good time!”

“No Moneypenny. You’ll have s good time. I, on the other hand, will be fucking miserable. I’m not going.” Q sighed leaning against the kitchen counter.  “To be honest, at this stage, I am torn between ‘I just really need to get laid’ or giving in to being destined to being the ‘crazy cat person’ the neighbors warn and threaten their kids about because they’re convinced their neighbor is a bat shite crazy axe murderer.”

“I give up, Q.” Moneypenny turned on her heels making her way to his front door.  “You’re going to miss out. Have lovely evening with your furry feline family.” 

Q raised a piece of pizza at her in a salute, relieved to lock the door behind her.

  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

“It’s been 9 months.  Nine bloody months, Q!  I swear to god you’ve gained your virginity back, it’s been so long.  Quit mooning over him, go out and get laid already!” Moneypenny stretched out her newly painted toes and admired the dark orange gloss.

  
“I’m not mooning.”  Q scratched the ears of the cat curled up on his chest enjoying the purr reverberating in his chest.  “You’re such a cow, Moneypenny.”   
  
“It’s Saturday night. You’re eating chocolate, drinking Bailey’s and watching me do my weekly maintenance.  Like you have most weekends since Bond left with the blonde trollop.”   
  
Q glared at her but had to admit she was right.  At least about his neglected sex life. But not Bond.  Not about that ungrateful, arrogant... ugh, he hated when she was right.   
  
“I could get sex if I wanted it.”   
  
“So you’re saying you don’t want it?”  She blew on her fingernails and daintily picked up her glass, smirking at him over the rim.   
  
Q sighed.  This conversation happened at least twice a week and truth be told he wanted more than just sex.  The longer he went without, the more awful dates he endured... “I want a relationship, Evie. Why is that so damn hard to find?”   
  
“Oh my god, you’re serious.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Year Ago](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15118736) by [Dassandre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dassandre/pseuds/Dassandre)




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